Truth: Most people never become what they could be. Without a definite purpose or ambition, they cruise along in life, tackling what’s easy with great aplomb, saving what’s difficult for another day that never comes. When obstacles become too tough, too inconvenient or seemingly insurmountable, they give up, then resign themselves to the fact that success wasn’t meant for them.

Obstacles – nasty as they may be – are really nothing more than giants on the road to your goal. Giants pop up to test you, to strengthen you and – more often than not – to make you prove you’re ready for what you want in the first place. (Some people say that giants are a sign that you’re on the right path.)

No matter what you do in life, how you handle giants will ultimately determine how successful you become.

Be warned, however: Giants are clever. They come disguised as a lack of time, funds, education, contacts, resources…you name it. There’s a garden variety to choose from, all giants nonetheless. Perhaps the greatest giant of all is insecurity, i.e., who am I to do that? Don’t allow yourself to get intimated by big projects and paralyzed into inaction. Whenever feelings of doubt of insecurity creep in, recognize it for what it is – fear – and then get out of your own way. (Note: The more giants you tackle, the easier they become to defeat.)

The key to conquering fear is not to try and banish it completely (which is impossible), but to deal with it. Use it. Turn your fear into focus. No matter what the situation, if you take the spotlight off of yourself (how is this going to make me look?) and put it on the task at hand (what would really make this project outstanding?), you’ll have an easier time moving forward.

“Focus is bringing everything you have to what you want and cutting off everything else.”

~Advertising Legend Mary Wells Lawrence

Emily Bennington is the author of Effective Immediately: How to Fit In, Stand Out, and Move Up at Your First Real Job. She hosts a popular blog for career newbies at www.professionalstudio365.com and can be found on Twitter @EmilyBennington or via email at ebennington@msn.com.

It’s just a fact of life that some people get past the velvet ropes of business and others don’t. The good news is that if you consistently find yourself on the outside looking in, the only thing preventing you from getting past the gate is your relevance to the gatekeeper. And by gatekeeper, I mean those people you want and/or need to know. Think about that for a second.

Odds are, the people on your list are in a position to help you get something you want. This is because, for the most part, we gravitate towards relationships that bring value to ourselves, i.e., we judge others based on their relevance to us.

Once you understand this, all you have to do is figure out a way to become relevant to the people you’d like to know better. Make them NEED YOU for something, be that an important project, task, or even just a sounding board on their favorite hobby.

Example: Say you’re an entry-level exec trying to make friends on a new job. You learn that Sara in Cubicle D is a travel buff who backpacks through Europe every summer. You spent a semester in Madrid. Ta-da.

Better example: Say you’re an entry-level exec trying to get noticed on a new job. You learn the president of your company is on the Board of the local YMCA. You volunteer for a steering committee. Now, every third Thursday of the month you and the bigwig are partnering on projects from soccer tourneys to scholarship programs.

If your not “getting” as much as you’d like from your career, think about how much you’re giving.

Emily Bennington is the author of Effective Immediately: How to Fit In, Stand Out, and Move Up at Your First Real Job. She hosts a popular blog for career newbies at www.professionalstudio365.com and can be found on Twitter @EmilyBennington or via email at ebennington@msn.com.

The New Year has just begun and you know what that means, right? New goals… new diet…  new exercise program…. new job?

If you’re unsatisfied in your current work situation, or even if you’re just wondering if there’s something better out there, pick up a copy of New Job, New You by Alexandra Levit. You may know Alexandra from her previous works They Don’t Teach Corporate in College or How’d You Score That Gig?

This time, Levit is tackling career change. New Job, New You is designed to help you discover what’s really driving your career choices, so you can channel those motivations into a more satisfying job and, ultimately, a more satisfying life.

The book gets to the heart of what makes people switch careers, using some of the more common reasons as a framework for the discussion. In Levit’s words, these are:

Family: When true work/life balance becomes a necessity
Independence: When you’ve been bitten by the entrepreneurial bug
Learning: When your bookish, curious side takes over
Money: When an increase in earning potential is on the horizon
Passion: When you yearn to do what you love
Setback: When one door closes, another one opens
Talent: When you’re too good at something not to give it a shot

If any of these strike a chord, New Job, New You could serve as the inspiration for your own career change in 2010 or beyond. But the book does more than help you identify why you may want to move in a new direction, it provides guidance on how that is specific to each section. Levit does a nice job of helping you think through options – listing steps to get your financial house in order before making the leap as an entrepreneur for example – so you can make informed choices as a result.

If – like me – you find that New Job, New You helps you identify what you want out of your career – or even if it leads you to search for greener pastures, you will find plenty of inspiration from others who came before. Since the moment when you take a deep breath and decide to start a new career can be terrifying (yet incredibly liberating), each section features interviews with others who have successfully transitioned from one job to another.

There’s also a forward by Stephen Covey (Hey Alexandra, how’d you score THAT gig?!) that rightly points out this is no longer the age of a hierarchical career model where organizations have all the control. We – as talented employees – have real choices in how, where, and when we work….sometimes we just need a little encouragement to make it happen. Consider this book your paperback “kick in the pants” to get moving.

New Job, New You is available on Amazon.

Emily Bennington is the author of Effective Immediately: How to Fit In, Stand Out, and Move Up at Your First Real Job. She hosts a popular blog for career newbies at www.professionalstudio365.com and can be found on Twitter @EmilyBennington or via email at ebennington@msn.com.

Why is it that some professionals seem to get on the fast track from Day One and others get stuck in the mud? Part of the answer lies in technical competency (i.e. how well you perform on the job) but personal style is also critically important. It’s that intangible quality known as ‘Executive Presence’ and what follows are four (very tangible) ways to build yours:

1.) Look the Part: This does not mean you have to be the most attractive person in your office. It simply means that you must look like a potential leader. It means crisp suits, conservative accessories, and an aura of confidence that comes from knowing you are a newbie to watch.

2.) Communicate with Authority: So what if you don’t actually have any right now. You can still present your ideas articulately and with command. A note on technique though: Passion is good. Raw passion, however, is a disadvantage. This isn’t the time to steamroll others into your point of view.  This is the time to know when to speak with assurance…and when to listen with diplomacy.

3.) Control Your Message: All of your non-verbals – e.g. how you dress, sit, walk, shake hands, pay attention, etc. – add up to affect the image you create in the mind of others. The good news is that these are all things inside your control. Take your office space for example. Even if you are caught up and 100% on top of your game, if you are surrounded by scattered papers, random post-its, and old coffee cups, chances are your colleagues are going to view you as overwhelmed and not ready for more challenging assignments.

4.) Develop a Silver Bullet: A ‘Silver Bullet’ is how you distinguish yourself early in your career. It’s your specialty area and the one where you become the ‘go-to’ contact. It could be social media, grant writing, Excel… the list is endless. In fact, you will probably have to test out a few bullets before you land on a winner. Just remember to pick something that genuinely interests you, that is valued by the company, and that isn’t already being done by scores of others.

Finally, while it’s not something you can do overnight, it will also help to study the most successful people in your office and in your field. How do they present themselves? What does their desk look like? How to they treat others and/or react in tough situations? These are clues to what your organization is looking for in its rising stars. Model the best behaviors, learn from any weaknesses, and use your own skills and presence to earn respect…regardless of your age.

Emily Bennington is the author of Effective Immediately: How to Fit In, Stand Out, and Move Up at Your First Real Job. She hosts a popular blog for career newbies at www.professionalstudio365.com and can be found on Twitter @EmilyBennington or via email at ebennington@msn.com.

OK, we all know it’s not cool to flirt with your colleagues and (of course!) your boss on the job, but what types of behaviors qualify? For starters, let’s talk about “the look.” This one is akin to how the Government describes pornography, i.e. “Hard to classify, but you know when you see it.”  The truth is, we’ve seen “the look” a thousand times in the movies. It’s a classic tale: boy and girl get thrown together by circumstances outside their control. At first, they can barely stand one another and then…the look. I don’t have to explain what happens next.  The trouble with “the look” is that you may think you’re being fun and outgoing, but it could be interpreted more seriously. So best to avoid it altogether.

Also, it’s a good idea to be hyper-aware of your body language on the job as well. Ladies, for example, have a tendency to do things because we’re nervous – e.g. excessive laughter, hair twirling, crossing and uncrossing legs – that, here again, could be mistaken for flirtatious behavior. Good rule of thumb: If you’re even questioning whether a behavior is appropriate, it’s probably not.

But don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying we should neuter the office entirely. I love powerful, charismatic men and women in the workforce who know they’re attractive. The right balance of confidence and humility can go a long way in your career. What I don’t love is suggestive behaviors. In other words, it’s fine to own your sexuality. It is not fine to flaunt it. Sounds subtle, but difference is actually as wide as the sky.

So is it ever acceptable to date a coworker? While company policies vary (check yours), it’s obvious why office romances are so commonplace. Where else can you observe – without actually committing to a date – someone’s communication style, habits, leadership ability, and interpersonal skills? Throw in the fact that people are working longer hours than ever and it’s almost too convenient really.

If you’re just looking to have some fun and kiss a couple frogs, definitely stay out of the work pool. However, if you’ve made a legitimate connection with a (SINGLE!) colleague, the best course of action is to be very discrete about your relationship in the beginning – in other words, no lingering coffee pot talk or Facebook updates. Make a pact that if it doesn’t work out, no one will be the wiser and you’ll both keep your private life private. No drama. No hard feelings.

On the other hand, if things turn serious … again, check company policy … and then feel free to share your good news. Most businesses will politely look the other way as long as you don’t let your love life interfere with your productivity.

Hey, it worked for the Obamas, right?

Emily Bennington is author of Effective Immediately: How to Fit In, Stand Out, and Move Up at Your First Real Job. Emily can be found on Twitter @EmilyBennington or via email ebennington@msn.com.