For a long time, a successful career was signified by receiving a shiny gold watch to commemorate your 30 or 40 years of loyal service to a single company. Getting ahead meant dedication, dependability, loyalty, putting your head down, getting your work done and following the rules.

For Baby Boomers, getting ahead took on a much different look. Think about the movies Wall Street or Baby Boom: power suit, power tie, power briefcase… huge shoulder pads. How very 1980s! It was all about influence, wealth and leverage. Everyone was eager to get ahead and more than a few people sacrificed their personal relationships.

Those who came of age in the 1990s embraced the idea of getting ahead by being their own boss. In fact, 87 percent of Gen X said they wanted their own business. This wave of entrepreneurs coupled with this “thing” called the Internet paved the way for Yahoo, Google and AOL. All of a sudden, people were clamoring for office space, patents, domain addresses and IPOs. Young people everywhere wanted to retire as millionaires before turning 40, 30…even 20-years-old!

That brings us to today where the rules are being rewritten yet again, and people are making more career changes in their 20’s than other generations experienced in a lifetime. I actually met someone last week whose son had 20 different jobs before he turned 30! These days, getting ahead involves much more than just slowly creeping up the corporate ladder or clawing your way to the top at any expense. In the age of instant makeovers, YouTube and reality shows, anyone can have a voice, be discovered, land a television show or get paid for doing just about anything people want to see. Success isn’t one-size-fits-all – it’s totally customizable.

I read a blog by Ryan Healy of Employee Evolution, which focuses on Millennials at work, and he said, “I don’t know anyone who will walk in the door of GE on their first day and think, ‘I’m going to do anything and everything I can for this company because they really care about me!’ This is because loyalty is a two-way street. The company must earn your loyalty and you must earn theirs.” He couldn’t be more accurate.

The notion of “getting ahead” will undoubtedly continue to morph but as generations and paradigms collide in the workplace, it’s important to know a little history. Even if you are determined to change all the rules and do things your way, your path will be more smooth and successful if you remember to show respect to the people who have been there and done that for a lot longer. Have your big ideas, shake things up, and place yourself in environments that embrace your ideas and strengths, but also make sure those opportunities and people can mentor you and help you see the world in a way that only experience can teach you. All the while, keep in mind that hard work, loyalty, integrity and passion will never get old.

Life, Love and Career – is there a way to find balance, happiness and stability?

With Valentine’s Day coming up this weekend, we’re pretty sure you’ll be thinking about your love life, your career, your level of happiness and maybe even a combination of everything. So we’re bringing back a phenomenal series created by our former editorial director, Jovie Baclayon. Every Friday for the next 3 weeks we’ll post Jovie’s articles on achieving success in your professional and personal relationships.

Loving yourself means living life by your own rules — not your parents’. While they may want what’s best for you, it becomes problematic if they they push you into a career, major or relationship that’s not at all what you want.

In part 1 of YSN.com’s 4 week series about achieving success in your professional and personal relationships, we’ll discuss cutting more than just the apron strings.

Here’s the inspirational story of one young man who started living his dream once he began living life on his own terms.

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!

Living Your Own Life: We know that cutting the cord with your parents can be a painstaking process; and it’s even harder if you are trying to break free from living out the dreams they created for you. All too often we hear from people who became lawyers or went to Ivy League schools just to please their parents. Some are incredibly unhappy later in life because even after all that schooling, they still dream of being an artist or entrepreneur but think it’s too late.

Scott knows exactly what it’s like to have to earn the right to define success and failure on his own terms. He grew up in conservative Wisconsin and his parents had his life planned out, from being in the right groups and classes to playing the right sports. Scott’s passion for culinary arts began when he was 6 and his mom gave him a Fisher Price oven, but he was always told: “Cooking is a hobby and it should stay a hobby.” His parents always embraced the qualities that made him different and unique (like his rock and herb gardens) but in terms of Scott’s career, they were determined that he was going to use his brain. He majored in linguistics and international business in college but in between semesters, he begged his parents to go to culinary school. Their response? He could go – as soon as he finished his undergrad (not thinking he would actually pursue it). But upon finishing the prerequisites, Scott was tired of living a life that wasn’t his and delivered the one, two, three punch: he dropped out of college, came out of the closet and told his parents he was going to culinary school!

Although financially on his own, Scott finally had his parents’ support. He saved enough money to head west, hoping to be accepted to the California Culinary Academy (of course he was). Now, Scott operates Chileco Catering, unveiled Chi Cuisine organic product line in fall 2007, and is consulting on a new restaurant/lounge in Central California where he will be the executive chef.

With his increasing success, the only thing his mom asks for these days is that she gets all the credit “when he makes it on Oprah.”

She gave him the Fisher Price oven, after all.

Jovie Baclayon is a communications associate for the Young Presidents’ Organization and a freelance writer based in Santa Monica, California.

Be Sure to Check Out the Entire Series!

• Live By Your Own Rules: YSN’s Tips for Having it All in Your Career, Life and Love (Part 1)

• Get Over It! YSN’s Tips for Having it All in Your Career, Life and Love (Part 2)

• It’s Time to Find Love: YSN’s Tips for Having it All in Your Career, Life and Love (Part 3)

• It’s all in the Contract: YSN’s Tips for Having it All in Your Career, Life and Love (Part 4)

For the tens of thousands who lost their jobs this year, and the millions of others fearing for the jobs they still have, YSN.com’s Jennifer Kushell shares these tips to survive the initial shock — and bounce back like a star.

1. Breathe. Stay calm.
The worst decisions are made under pressure, stress, or in a state of fear. Don’t allow yourself to be rash or irrational; keep your wits about you and commit to making it through this in one piece. Get a sense for what this layoff really means to you and what the real repercussions will be. Assess your safety nets: What are your back up plans? (All the way down to spending time with the folks in your worst case financial scenario.) Hopefully you’ve done enough to guard against that, and if so, take some solace in the fact that you’re prepared to weather a little uncertainty.

Links:
6 Steps to Survive Being Laid Off
Remember to Breathe
26 Steps to Stay Calm when the Situation Goes Bad
7 Powerful Relaxation Techniques

2. Look at this as an opportunity.
You know what they always say, “It’s not what happens to you, but what you do about it.” That might not be what you want to hear right now, but think about it: This sudden change could have a silver lining — so commit yourself to finding it. Take some time for yourself, even just a few quiet hours alone and reflect on all the things you truly liked and disliked about your job. What would you have done differently? Were you there because you had to be, or because you wanted to be? Ask yourself how you can now take the next step learning from your past experience. Is there a chance to take a step up? Or to change industries or careers entirely if you weren’t as happy as you wanted to be? So many times, abrupt changes like this are exactly what people need to get out of a rut and move on to something they’d really love to be doing.

Links:
Find that Silver Lining
Attitude is as Important as Skills

3. Audit your online identity.
Start paying close attention to your reputation management, to the platform that you’ve built for yourself online (if any) and to what new people will perceive about you when they google you. If you don’t like what you see online, or want to take control of that first impression you’re giving off, build a professional identity you can be proud of with a PROJO – your professional mojo. It’s a next generation resume/portfolio that you can share with contacts, add to/promote in your signature line, build out and keep up to date with your latest accomplishments to ensure that when someone searches for you, they find the “goods” on you, but the good!

Links:
Build your PROJO
Clean Up Your Online Act!
Manage Your Online Reputation

4. Stay connected to your network.
You probably have a lot more friends, colleagues and supporters than you realize. Survey your address books, PDA, business card files and social networks to see who’s really in your inner circle and wider network and who might be able to help lead you to some new prospective opportunities. Talk to friends and family and see who they know.

Then start reaching out to catch up with everyone you can. Befriend old friends online, shoot out a bunch of emails, even invite a few for coffee or drinks. Start talking to everyone you can! Ask your contacts who else you should be talking to, then reach out to them. Update your online profiles with the latest news and let people know that you’re actively exploring your options. This is not the time to hide out and wallow. Just make sure you force yourself to smile and at least appear to have a positive outlook for the future! Repeat the mantra to yourself: “onward and upward!”…until you believe it.

Links:
Keep Those Contacts!
Networking Your Way to a New Job

5. Assess your financial situation.
The first serious thing you need to do once you have the ability to think calmly and rationally (see #1) is to figure out the true state of your financial affairs. If you can, sit down with a financial consultant who will know how to ask you the right questions to get a proper assessment. Take a very careful look at any severance (if you’re lucky), benefits packages (like insurance policies, 401ks, etc.) that you may be able to “roll over” from your old company’s plan. (Take care of this right away too!)

Links:
Create a Budget — and Stick to It!
YSN Secrets #20: CAAAAASH

6. Ride the coat tails of senior execs.
If you’ve done a good job of befriending and staying tight with your bosses and other senior management, it might just pay off in real dividends now. Keep in close contact with them!!! The more connected they are, the faster they will probably find their next great opportunities and look to set themselves up for success in their new spot. When that happens, seasoned execs take quick steps to surround themselves with people they know and trust. They build teams from people they know — and that could include you! Make it known that you’re up for the new adventure if you are.

7. Use your leverage.
What can you do to leverage the experience you’ve had so far and the skills you’ve been building? What do you know that others want to? (Besides proprietary trade secrets!) How can you use what you’ve learned to your benefit and to others? You don’t have to play hardball or let your ego run wild to put your experience and expertise to work for you in a positive and proactive way. A great way to do this, and make some quick money, is to do some consulting work. Taking a few projects on will keep you in the game and buy you time to figure out your next move. Who knows, you might actually like it so much you decide to make it your new business!

Links:
Tips to Help You Stand Out in Your Profession
Learn to Understand Your Own Intelligence

8. Open yourself up to new opportunities.
Employment prospects or ideas you hear about from friends and relatives might not sound quite right at first, but give them a chance to explain — and yourself a chance to explore a bit. Don’t limit your attention to a very narrow set of options right after a layoff. Try to imagine yourself working in a whole new scenario and consider whether you might find happiness in some other industry or way than you’d previously envisioned. Ask a bunch of questions…even just to humor yourself. You might actually learn something you never expected or discover a connection to something that does actually fit you.

9. Stay healthy…or make this your big chance to GET healthy.
Whether you’ve been really diligent about taking care of yourself while employed or have totally forgotten what an athletic shoe feels like on your foot, make your health a major priority now. Take the time to sleep, get some fresh air, walk, run, do some yoga — whatever makes you feel your best. The endorphins will help a lot in bringing a smile and positive outlook to your face. You’ll also project more confidence as you go out to pursue other opportunities. You never know who you’ll meet along that run either!

10. Use this as preparation for the next big shake-up in your life.
Right now this might seem like the end of the world, but the good news is that if you can weather this storm, you’ll only be better prepared for the next one. Though we’d like to say this will never happen again, the truth is that life is a cycle of ups and downs, and preparation is the key to surviving it all.

If you are ready to look at the big picture, listen to our Secrets of the Young & Successful podcast series and create the life you’ve always dreamed about — no better time than the present! You can also come and talk to others about what’s happening to you in our discussion forum. You never know where the next great idea or opportunity is waiting…

Good luck!

If you’re starting to feel the “holiday blues” because you’re out of work or eager to change jobs, stress no more!  The holiday season offers a golden setting for you to meet new people and find opportunities before the New Year! Think about it: There are so many parties and gatherings happening this time of year that you can meet just about anyone you need to in order to advance your career or business! And best of all, you can do so in a casual, merry setting where people are ready to relax and socialize. Here are 5 ways to maximize your presence at those gatherings:

1. Take the opportunity to start a conversation with that agency VP you’ve been eager to meet. If you are the host, be sure to send invites to your important clients and the people you want to impress.

1. Find out if any of your friends are allowed to bring guests to their company’s holiday party, even if they don’t work in your desired industry. You never know what kind of connections you could make or who else might attend as a guest. Your friend’s coworker’s wife could work for the company of your dreams!

1. Find out if your local young professionals association or other industry/career organization is hosting a holiday event open to the public. It’s a great opportunity to meet, learn and network.

1. Keep things casual. Don’t delve into business talk now – use this time to establish a relationship with the person instead. Remember, the best jobs are never advertised, so by using your social savvy to make those important connections, that golden opportunity might just come across your desk when you least expect it!

1. Remember to bring your business cards, collect cards from others, or exchange contact information, and above all, follow up!

We at YSN are thankful for your readership, and wish you all the best this holiday season!

Heading home for the holidays can be stressful. Everyone wants to know what you’ve been doing with your life, how school or work has been going, if you’ve found someone special, and if you’re on a solid track.

Before you start sweating, here are three ways to prepare yourself for the conversations you don’t want to have at Thanksgiving, but most certainly will:

1. Think about the conversations you’re going to have and what you are going to say about the choices you’ve made. If you aren’t sure about your plans, don’t say “I have no idea what I’m going to do.” Instead, try “I’m actively exploring my options right now.” That kind of spin takes you from hopeless and lost to confident and proactive with some simple repositioning.

2. Know your audience and be aware of their “push” buttons. For example, your dad might care about how much money you’re making, while your mom might be more concerned about your happiness. Speak directly to their unique questions and concerns and they are sure to be more supportive.

3. Recognize what makes YOU happy and how you define success. Even though your definition of success may differ from others, it’s important to acknowledge the validity of all sides and respect how others might see the world – while impressing upon them how important it is for you to find a path of your own.

Remember, they love you. They don’t have to say it to mean it, and at the end of the day, they only want you to be happy.