Back in February, YSN member Scott Wagner stopped by our office to chat with Jen and tell us about his career. He runs ChileCo Catering, is an amazing chef and an inspirational person. I just reread something I wrote about that conversation and wanted to share those thoughts here.

Scott talked about the importance of living with a purpose… not just to make a million dollars but to do good in this world and make it a better place. In his case, he wants to save the environment — his company is just part of his action plan. The success of ChileCo will make him financially capable to do everything he needs to do in order to “save the world.” Wow, if only everyone thought like that!

It’s really an inspirational way to live your life. For most people, it’s the other way around: they acquire wealth and then do good things with the money. Most people work to pay bills, buy a home, have a family, take vacations… but imagine how much more motivated you would be to succeed in your career and life to be if you had a much bigger, more meaningful reason for doing it.

Why do you do what you do for a living? What’s your purpose?

A friend of mine recently came to LA to visit and stayed at my apartment. My roommate and I were appalled at her lack of manners. At twenty-two years old, you would think she would know as much to thank her hostesses? Apparently not (and after her rude behavior during her visit, a thank you would have been the least she could have done). Manners, such a simple concept yet the younger generations (my own included) can’t seem to grasp it. I’m not just talking about not putting your elbows on the table, talking with your mouth full, I’m talking about simple everyday rules of etiquette. Is it really that difficult to say ‘thank you’? Or add a please to that request?

In a time when having cell phones at the dinner table is a regular (and almost acceptable) occurrence, it seems like manners are rapidly becoming a thing of the past… but that doesn’t mean we should give into the trend. Maybe it’s because I’m from the south, and grew up with all that “Southern Hospitality,” but I think manners and etiquette should never be sacrificed, no matter how busy you are. Here are some tips and reminders to keep your behavior in check:

• Thank You Cards: Growing up, my sister and I weren’t allowed to play with our presents until we had written and mailed thank you cards for them. Thank you cards aren’t just for little kids; if you receive a gift, send a thank you card. Even if you don’t have “Thank you cards,” send a little note expressing your gratitude or at least send an email thanking them. Your appreciation will go a long way, and chances are, you’ll get some more presents in the future
• House guests: I am a big stickler for being on your best behavior as a house guest. Your host shouldn’t even know you are there. Keep your belongings neat and tidy, offer to clean up or help with dinner, if there are dishes in the sink you should do them without hesitation. Sometime during your stay, give your host some sort of token of appreciation. Whether is a bouquet of flowers or a bottle of wine, and always follow up your stay with a thank you card.
• Punctuality: Most people view tardiness as a sign of disrespect, so do your best to be on-time, if not a few minutes early. Check the traffic and give yourself plenty of time to arrive at your destination. If you are going to be late, call and inform the other party.
• Party Time!: Just because you’re attending a party doesn’t mean you can leave your manners at home. If you want to bring a friend, ask the host first. Ask if you can bring anything, a bottle of wine, some chips and dip, or maybe your iPod and speakers? Even if they say no, it wouldn’t hurt to show up with a little something. Offer to help clean up before you leave and after the party, be sure to let the host know how much fun you had. Shoot ‘em an e-mail or send a Thank You card for extra points. Chances are, you’ll be invited to their next shindig.
• Please and Thank You: Adding these simple words into your everyday speech will make you a much more pleasant person to deal with, and probably make your life easier. “Could you please check if you have this in another size?”; “Thank you so much!” sounds much better than “I need this in a smaller size.” Even if your request isn’t granted, you should follow it with “oh, well thank you anyway!”
• Cell Phones: Running errands may seem like the perfect time to catch up on your phone calls, but when you are in line at the grocery store or the bank, that phone call can wait. Not only is it rude to the employees helping you, you are slowing down the lines. So put your phone on silent and call your mom back when you are in the car, or even better (and safer) at home.
• Favors: If your friend does you a favor, pay them back (no, not necessarily in the literal sense). If you borrow someone’s car, return it with as much gas, if not more, as when you borrowed it. If your friend picks you up from the airport, let them know the next time they go out of town, you will return the favor. They scratch your back, you scratch theirs… get it?

While it may appear otherwise, there is still a place for etiquette, and you never know when having good manners might help you move ahead in your career. Besides, good manners won’t cost you much, but not having them will prove to be much more expensive

This week, we are pleased to introduce a new, weekly column by YSN member and movie aficionado Rama Tampubolon. He runs the movie, music and book review website, Rama’s Screen, and was featured in “United 300,” which won for “Best Spoof” at the 2007 MTV Movie Awards. He’ll discuss the latest hot topics and movie reviews every Thursday on Waste Time Wisely.

Johnny Depp’s got a new movie coming soon this fall. It’s called SWEENEY TODD: THE DEMON BARBER OF FLEET STREET. It’s a collaboration between him and director Tim Burton for the millionth time. It’s based on a 19th century legend of a murderous barber who killed everyone who’s ever done him wrong. Now here’s the word on the web, apparently the studio has seen early footages from the movie and thought that the violence was too graphic. They loved the movie but… they wanted Tim to take the level down a bit so it can be presented not in R-rated but PG-13. The idea is to get it watched by wider audience, which means more money would be coming in.Tim who is an artistic filmmaker was definitely not happy with the studio’s request for so many cuts. How can you not show graphic violence in a story like this one? SWEENEY TODD by the way will slit theaters’ throats December 21st.

Which brings me to the question: How important is movie violence?

1). There are movies out there that show violence without any purpose or relation to the storyline at all. It shows grotesque graphics and images just so the filmmaker could prove to the audience that they’ve crossed the boundaries. At the same time it is necessary for certain films to have such high level of violence in order to serve the audiences that love that sort of thing. It’s their niche and it’s all about satisfying that target market. George Romero will keep on making zombie movies ’til the day he dies… and becomes a zombie.

2). Let’s briefly talk about art. Now this is a subject that most people won’t find fascinating. The second they hear the word ‘art’, immediately they’ll think of boring museums filled with large paintings to stare at for hours and hours. But where I’m going with this is that movies like Kill Bill, Sin City and 300 have been the champions in presenting violence in a very artful manner. It would take away the beauty of it all if the violence level was toned down.

3). Another way a movie violence can be important is that if it’s a part of the character so much so that we just can’t see that character becomes somebody who is without violence. That’s one thing I was concerned about the movie LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD that now is PG-13 unlike its R-rated predecessors. The character John McLane has been so closely associated with curse words and violence that I couldn’t see John McLane any other way. But luckily the movie Live Free or Die Hard was very well made in my opinion and it was very action-packed that it didn’t take away the heroic image of the iconic man who’s always at the wrong place at the wrong time.

One interesting fact, if you’ve seen the movie Die Hard with a Vengeance and remember the bad guy Simon, played by the great Jeremy Irons, well.. before Jeremy,.. Sean Connery was actually offered the role but he turned it down on the account that the character is too violent and evil.

4). Movie Violence is important in history-based movies. Saving Private Ryan is a great movie, especially the beginning scene at the bloody beach, because it stays true to the real-life situation of D-Day. By showing violence, the movie gives homage to those who actually lived the event.

On the other hand we have another great movie called Hotel Rwanda. You’d think that because it’s a movie about genocide that the filmmaker would go the distance to show some disturbing scenes. But that’s not the case. This movie is very excellent because it give graphic bloodshed through their dialogues, through their faces. You can see and feel the brutality just by watching their eyes which hold fear, anger, and disbelief. Hotel Rwanda is filled with talented actors and a gifted writer who can display violence without having to display violence.

Join the discussion and visit your most reliable movie buff: Rama’s SCREEN

One of the hardest things about living in Los Angeles and going to the office every morning is that no one else seems to have to work. There are always people who are just “hanging out” any time of day: sitting in coffee shops, reading the newspaper, walking their dog, surfing, working out at the gym, shopping… you name it. People of all ages… and I’m pretty good at picking out the tourists. So, I always find myself wondering, “What do they do for a living?”

I know what I’m doing outside. In the past, I was either freelancing or unemployed. These days, our company works 10 a.m. to 7 p.m., so my morning run at the beach begins when most other people start their work day. But those leisurely men and women can’t all possibly work the same hours I do, or be freelancers, unemployed or independently wealthy. They don’t all have babies with them, so they’re not stay-at-home anythings and they’re too chipper to have just finished a night shift.

I’ve thought long and hard about it and came up with this list of possible careers for these freebirds:

1. anything in showbiz: actors, singers, producers, directors, etc. (this is L.A.)
2. anything related to sales: real estate agents, sales representatives, telemarketers, envelope stuffers
3. domestic services: nannies, dog walkers, housekeepers, butlers, yacht captains
4. entrepreneurs: business owners (online/offline), people who sell things on eBay
5. anything nightlife oriented: bartenders, servers, cocktail waitresses, club promoters, security guards, DJs
6. independent contractors: writers, editors, anything in construction, personal trainers
7. anyone who works “3 days on, 4 days off” shifts (or on call): firemen, policemen, nurses, doctors
8. people in the travel industry: flight attendants, pilots, travel agents, tour operators
9. people who review things: film and restaurants critics, secret shoppers
10. seasonal employees: amusement park/waterpark employees, ski instructors, sailing instructors, summer camp operators

If you’re looking for new ways to free up your daytime hours,
click here to check out the contract, temp and part-time opportunities on YSN.com!

Welcome to Ask Jen, a weekly Q&A with the “career doctor” herself Jennifer Kushell! Every Wednesday, Jen will answer one of your burning career questions so start sending them in!

If you would like to submit a question, please e-mail askjen@ysn.com and she’ll do her best to get to them all. Oh, and don’t forget to register on YSN.com – Your Success Network and fill out your profile so we can link back to it!

YSN member LaToya asks: I am currently unsatisfied with my career in the investment industry. I always loved to write. I am thinking about starting a magazine. How would one get started in this industry without any experience?

Jen responds: Hi LaToya! There’s a great resource that could help you get started writing articles for magazines, even if you don’t have any experience. (You just need the talent!) Check out a big reference book called The Writers Market. Last edition I had was red, but they publish new editions every year or so and it lists writing and submission guidelines for thousands of different publications. Just find the ones that are most relevant to the audience you want to address and what you want to write about and start pitching your articles! This would be a great first step to getting the experience you need in starting a magazine.

Of course, it would also help tremendously to have some experience working in or with one. You could always volunteer for a small publication on the weekends. You could also start by writing for the investment industry publications while you start to lay the seeds for your big career jump. Just know that starting a magazine is like starting a restaurant. The failure rates are through the roof, so just be very strategic, do your research, talk to a ton of people in the business, make sure you’re okay not making money for a while, and definitely think in terms of publishing online to start.

Also, YSN members Jennifer Iannolo and Mark Tafoya are actually the publishers of an award-winning online food magazine. You should send them a YSN message at some point! Oh, and I just noticed some people from Business Week and Entrepreneur magazine are online at YSN, too. Start reaching out to some of them. There actually a lot of people with experience in the publishing industry on the site.

Good luck!

Jen